Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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