I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize