All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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