just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
