Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
