no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize