pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
