He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
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My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
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By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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