drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize