is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
