Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
