I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
