HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
