YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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