I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
