Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize