Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
