New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
