Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
