id be glad to
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
