whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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