I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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