dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
