Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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