How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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