Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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