You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
