i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
