Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
