the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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