If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So many bounce houses so little time
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
