your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Alive.
So much puke
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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