Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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