Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize