I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
