Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
