every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
