Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
and you fell through a lawn chair
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
