I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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