Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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