life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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