did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
