Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
