You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
