it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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