are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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