I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
