I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
