tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
