Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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