break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
