He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
