If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We're too hungover to prance.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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