he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
