That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
