Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Randomize
