I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
