Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
