Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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