i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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