now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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