He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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