You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize