I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
