he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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