ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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